Today by pure chance, I’ve been listening to music that I haven’t listened to in a while. A while basically means years ago, as I was a teenager.
You know that music transports you to whenever you used to hear that particular song, artist, or album altogether. Today it was a bit different. Music took me back to some time ago but what I’ve felt was not the same. For some reason I’ve felt like an spectator of my own life. It felt a bit awkward, like that teenager felt, but mostly I’ve felt like I was looking at my life from really far away, as if I was already 90 years old and I was staring at that youngster trying to tell her about what she’s missing because she’s thinking too much and being too self-conscious.
I started thinking about the things that I had experienced at that time when the music was on, and for some reason the feeling that stayed with me today was the feeling of “I need to do something”.
Every time I hear (or read) about one of my favorite artists’ life, it makes me want to create something. I feel like I have something that I need to communicate and let out, but I don’t know what it is or how to do it.
I’ve recently published a book, and I thought that that would calm me down somehow, but on the contrary, it has awaken my “hunger” for creating more stuff, whether it is prose, poems, designs or songs or… So I’ve discovered a new obsession for my days now: I can’t stop thinking about what I could (need to) do (create) in order to set myself free from the burden that is knowing that I need to let my soul speak somehow, but I don’t know why or how. But I will keep trying to figure it out.
(This post best read while listening to:
Jigsaw Falling into Place by Radiohead)