If you look back in time, you can trace back the evolution of things and how they turned out to be the way they are now.
The longer we live, the longer we can see how the decisions we made and how the circumstances in life took us where we are and made us the way that we are. It’s a little like a massive maze we walk without really knowing how to get out. People will join you for part of your walking, some others will leave. There are infinite possibilities of how things would turn out and it’s only when you stop and think, that you can look back and see the way you’ve walked.
Lately I’ve been thinking in particular moments from which I could outline the journey my life has travelled and realize the course of events. It’s like tracking in a map the turns that have taken you to where you are in the maze right now.
I’m sure there are many situations that surprised us by turning out the way they did.
Sometimes I re-live in my mind past moments while trying to think about how things evolved after that. I feel now I have a better understanding. Every day we are given a few more pages of the book.
When I was younger, I would have never imagined the places that I’d go to and the things that I’d experience, both good and bad. Now I go back in time in my mind and imagine myself whispering things in the ear of my younger self, things like “in a few years you’ll be doing this, or that”.
I see myself whispering in my ear almost 20 years ago, sitting in a bus and telling that self how the boy I so often would sit next to would be the person I’d share my life with so many years down the line.
It is tempting to think that maybe we whisper in our ears all the time and we follow the paths we are told. I wonder whether I am whispering in my ear in this very moment and what I would be saying.
(This post best read while listening to:
Ghost Train by Counting Crows)