Last night I went out for a drink and dinner with two friends. One of them had just lost his best friend but couldn’t make it to the funeral miles away. We got to talk about meeting new people, befriending people and then having to lose people.
Leaving everything behind, friends included, moving away means having to make new friends. Losing the old ones, then at some point, the new ones, then meeting new people. It’s an endless process. But what always stays is the big elephant in the room. This big elephant is the great spoiler. You know it is there, but you choose to ignore it, to not acknowledge the fact that something will end up being wrong. And the people will end up leaving forever. Call it death, call it disappointment.
I can’t deal with sweet talkers who cast a big elephant’s shadow.
I’ve known people for 4 years and it seems it was 40 years ago.
I’ve been close to people for 3 years but felt like 30 years long.
I’ve been with people for 7 years but acted towards me like they’ve been with me for 7 months.
I’ve been in the life of people for 7 months but I felt like it’d been for 7 years long.
And he forgot about me in 7 hours and no more.
Call me sentimental.
The spoilers end up making a mess and leaving chaos and confusion and pain behind.
I wouldn’t want to deal with any spoiler again. But acknowledging the big elephant becomes the beginning of the spoiling process. The beginning of the end. And we get stumbled upon.
Not acknowledging it forever is impossible.
I wonder whether there is a way of making the big elephants disappear.
I wonder also (and most difficult to deal with) what happens when we realize we ourselves are the big elephant in the room. With the potential of becoming the big spoiler in the end.
The people who we know will fail to be there at some point are what I call the sweet talkers. These are people that would talk sweet but not act accordingly at all.
They take too much energy away from those around. They are the big elephant so hard to ignore.
They are always there. And there they will always be, whether we ignore them or not.
People disappear. And we are the only ones that stay. On our own. Always.
(This post best read while listening to:
Weird Fishes by Radiohead)