The Personal Promotion

shell

I am not sure how many job promotions I have got in my life. Many. Plus the ones I have not accepted. Yeah, I know I should be happy. But not really. Actually, not at all. Because it makes me think of other areas in my life and that makes me feel quite frustrated. These recognitions at work do not compensate for the things that I lack in my personal life. I am still waiting for that personal promotion. An upgrade, please. I have been always been moving along the line between “forever girlfriend” and “fired”. Every time. Always in that order. One time I made it to “I have you on a pedestal”, but that was after having been “fired” (how the f*** is that even possible?). No matter how much “I work”, how much I put into it, I am never the one getting a promotion, I am the one who gets fired. And it is getting really really tiring.

What makes me worse than anyone else? What makes me not special enough? Not even special, but what makes me not just about like anyone else around? Maybe I am simply not good enough. Maybe I do not deserve it.

I want to be like that shell in the picture. A friend picked it up for me. I want to be found but be never let go.

(This post best read while listening to:
Uneven by Tara Angell)

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One thought on “The Personal Promotion

  1. I like this post. why? because one of the person most wonderful that I know is being promoted. But on the other hand, I am unhappy. why? because this person, this amazing girl has not found yet her personal promotion, and I really like and appreciate her. Let me write in this post several honest thoughts, that due to the fact that I am not enough brave, I have not told you face to face. You are so kind, so intelligent, so beautiful, so … I cannot express all the superlative adjectives in English that I would like to express. You deserve your great personal happiness, because you are lovely, lovely, lovely, and any of us, would like to share our life with you? and I am sure that you will find this pernal promotion. why? I do not have enough space to tell you, because I am not enough brave.

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