Removed

out of place

Nothing like feeling pushed away.
You just want to run away, yell and disappear
If you could, into the outer space.

I think this is becoming a routine now.
Who in their sane mind gets up in the morning “willing to go to work”? There must be something very strange here.

Doing your best during the day
and at night all I’m left is alone.
Just because I do nothing but caring
just because I try to accommodate your soul
but myself, I am yet alone
I got lost again and forgot about how to get warm.

Maybe I should just get rude
let everyone know what I want and how I want it
but I’m still a carer and I’m not demanding
and that will show,
I would just get laughed at even more.

Who am I? Just the person who cares?
Who, as long as I can give it all away?
What do I need? Just a person who cares
What does that mean?
No misunderstandings
caring leaves no room for thinking badly,
because that place should be taken by the purest of your love.

Misunderstandings? Means no trust in my love
No trust in my love? To me the biggest one of scares
Because of all I’ve done, because of how much I care
Silence? There is no care, there is nothing there.

I do not think badly of anyone’s actions
until they become mean, or they turn into inaction
When someones uses excuses, plays down, makes up stories
doesn’t mean the other person can’t see
Love is not blindness,
Love is caring no matter what.
If the caring is gone, then there was no love all along.

And then we are lost.

Enjoy your new love
I’ll be left once again with my solitude
It would have been nice just to find out from you
not because of your attitude.

But that is ok
it is better this way
you get what you want
and I get what I deserve
A bigger fuck than the previous one
with no ticket to exchange
I have a record now
so I can put it in my collection chain.

“Caring for my solitude,
and if you behave
you can leave it all behind
and fuck me up as the world didn’t care”

For that is my destiny:
giving it all
and just getting pieces back.
But never the pieces that match,
only just the pieces that scratch.

I am now done
Wake me up out of this nightmare
But only if you find someone who cares
If you can find that someone
My kingdom he deserves
For I can’t do it anymore.
I’m not looking for a lot,
But that lot is playing hard to get.

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2 thoughts on “Removed

  1. “The peaceful warrior” directed by Victor Salva; based on the novel: “way of the peaceful warrior”

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