Time to Face the Truth

Light post on the beach

The truth is that I shall never rest
my heart will never be in peace
the constant ups and downs and the “neverenoughs”
Will be the the only constant noise in my ears

Always getting myself lost and giving it all
to find out what I was giving out was my very own soul
but still was never enough

I need someone I can rest with
someone who does not look for further answers or further questions,
seconds answers or second truths
never looks behind the mirror
because all there is, it is me and you

I seem to have gone astray again
but this is my usual pathway
dark and dirty like an alleyway
but I know every corner, every brickstone on the wall
for I’ve been here hundreds of times
and the place won’t let me go.

“Never enough, never enough”
It’s the hissing of the passing train
If I ever want it to stop
I get repeated: follow the path, otherwise “never enough, never enough”.
I want this train to be robbed
So I get kidnapped and taken away
I want this train to crash
So I can forget the things that I’ve done
because apparently once again I did lose myself
but “never enough, never enough”
was always there.

When I sit in the high courtroom
and I get asked
my crime was nothing
except that I cared
if that is ever a crime
then god, I AM condemned.
Take me away as soon as you can.
For there is no resentment
I did what I felt, I did what I cared
If that is ever the worst crime
I should then burn in hell.