The Things We Hide

Like books with concealed covers, we all hold secrets, or so everyone says, we all keep things from others, even (or sometimes especially) from those closest to us. Is it right though? Or is the right thing to set an “open mind” policy? I am not so sure of either way.

Who are we really protecting when we keep things from others? Is it them? Is it ourselves preventing others from judging us? Since we are all different (no matter how hard we are talked into thinking otherwise), when confronted with the same situation, perceptions differ and faced with the same facts, we could get to completely opposite conclusions. That’s what we are trying to avoid: being misjudged, misunderstood and taken the wrong way.

Then, what happens when we are not good at hiding things? Or what if others can easily read us? Usually nothing good. If you decide to hide things, and you don’t do it properly, you’ll find yourself in a worse situation than before: being misjudged once again, but considered to be a deceiver on top of it. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse…

So instead of hiding something poorly, enrich your mind by talking it out openly.

(This post best read while listening to Dive by Nirvana)


The Meaning of Success

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What is success? What do you understand it is that makes you believe a person is successful?
Is it professional success that you consider? Personal success? A fair combination of both? What’s the perfect combination? Or could one even compensate the other?
Who says this level and not below is when you can start considering someone successful? Where is the bottom limit and who sets it?

Whatever people say, it always works against you. When people tell you you’re successful, you do not believe it, there is always something you think it’s missing. If they tell you you’re not, you might think and feel otherwise, because you do not need anything else.

The person who decides how successful you are and why it is solely you. Why are we looking at whether we are successful or not? Does success equal happiness?

It is not what you do, the only thing that is going to tell you whether you are and why is just the reflection of yourself, whatever you are able to see. Look closely and whatever people say, be aware that you might think and see otherwise, for better or for worse.

(This post best read while listening to: Want by The Cure)

Considering Selfishness

How many inconsiderate people do you know? It is interesting that they are usually random people that we haven’t met before.

Should we look into those inconsiderate actions or dwell on them? Or should we just look further than that and not consider them at all?
Inconsiderate actions repeat themselves over and over, they jump from person to person like a grasshopper. Where does inconsideration come from? From pure selfishness, undoubtedly. Is it wrong to be selfish? It depends.

There is one kind of selfishness that makes you move forward and it doesn’t require you to step on anybody’s life to do so. Whereas inconsiderate selfishness just creates negativity all the way. When you receive it from somebody you get in a bad mood and that bad mood makes you pass it on to somebody else.

What should we do with these inconsiderately selfish people? Wouldn’t it be fair that they just automatically vanish off the face of the Earth? Or how about they get strikes 1, 2 and 3 and then out! …ideal… But so impossible unfortunately.

Then, let’s just look further, beyond what we see, beyond what we feel when we encounter them, ignore their inconsiderate behavior and stop those actions from being spread all over.
You can be selfish, but look further, be it only if you are considerately selfish.

(This post best read while listening to:
Blame It On The Tetons by Modest Mouse)

The Unplanned

There are so many things that we plan. On a September weekend we can plan any activity outdoors, as the weather will most likely be nice at this time of the year.
I would say that when we are not doing anything, the only one thing we are indeed doing is planning something, thinking about the future, thinking always ahead. Life then turns into a series of endless and hopeful plans.

How many of those plans do actually come out the way we thought they would? We can’t plan the unexpected but definitely need to count on its star appearance at some point in time.

When a plan turns out wrong we go back and retrace our steps, relive moments and situations that got us to the bad outcome. Do we beat ourselves up when things don’t go as planned?
Let go, let go. Don’t dwell in those negative thoughts. They’ll abate and finally fade away but only with time.

If the plan turns out better than expected we call it good luck, a good turn of destiny, a sign from the stars.
Is it really so? Don’t we also beat ourselves up about it? Don’t we wonder whether (or even when) that luck is going to wear off and leave us where we were in the first place? Can we not just take as it is and enjoy the good result, asking no further questions?

Expecting a nice summer day in September but getting a cloudy one is unexpected. Planning is good, but being ready to embrace the unplanned is even better. Especially when the unplanned makes you smile.

(This post better read while listening to:
Wrong, by Depeche Mode).

The Things We Share

Maths in school used to be easy when we were young. What I used to like about it is that everything just had one solution (the only solution), everything clicked, and worked and was perfectly designed to work that way.
Then years passed and little by little maths started becoming more complicated. But still one solution. If you know the calculations, you would get to it. You just needed to know the way.

With this passing of time, we were also introduced to other type of maths: the maths of life. These are similar in a way. They get harder as we progress: we add, substract, divide and multiply people situations, experiences, happenings in our lives, whether good of bad. Sometimes these maths get so complicated that we have no clue of how we got to the final result. And on top of it, we don’t even know whether it is the right result.

But, I found that there is at least one calculation in the maths of life that is extremely simple, easy to remember and easy to understand.

We only need to know how to do one thing: sharing.
It does the trick, it always works. Have you noticed that when we share something good it gets multiplied? Good times increase their effect when shared.
Also, if we share a bad moment with someone, doesn’t it get better? The negative effect of it gets divided by two.

Did you do the math? Good times are improved when shared, the bad times are reduced when shared.

Try sharing, it works every time.